"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."-W. Churchill
"A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." - R. Frost
"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." -Doug Larson
"Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
"Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
"Bother," said Pooh as Earnhardt won again!
"Bother," said Pooh as the brakes went out!
"Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
"C++" should have been called "D"
"COINCIDENCE" happens.
"Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4."
"Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him"
"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."
"Freedom defined is freedom denied." -The Illuminatus
"Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"-Judy Tenuda
"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..."
"Human equality is a contingent fact of history." -Steven Jay Gould
"I'm looking for Mr. Dover, first name Ben.."
"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV"
"I'm not smart enough to lie" - Ronald Reagan
"If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos
"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
"It hurt real bad." -John Bobbit
"It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end."-D. Adams
"It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs"
"Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty
"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates
"Please return stewardess to original upright position"
"Stupid" is a boundless concept.
"Suicide Hotline...please hold."
"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain
"The sun ain't yellow, its chicken." -Bob Dylan
"There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain
"There's someone in my head, but its not me." -Pink Floyd
"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"
"Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda-
"Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
"We are on an irreversable trend towards more feedom and democracy - but that could change" -D. Quayle
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"-Steven Wright
"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
#28 Davey Allison 1961 - 1993
#7 Alan Kulwicki 1954 - 1993 Winston Cup Champion 1992
#include SWEEPING_GENERALITY.h
$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
'God wills it' may be answer enough, but God does not will what people will not do.
'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove al doubt
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)*ckup completely?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(C)1992 Wild Bill's Machine Gun Shop and House of Wax.
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
(c) Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
.....I have a husband and a dog. What the h*ll do I need kids for?!!!
.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
.ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation
10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be skitzo!
11 was a race-horse, 22 was 12. When 1111 race, 22112.
1200 bps used to seem so fast
186,000/mps. It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
2B, or not 2B, or should I use a biro.
3 dreaded words when making love: Is that it?
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
5 schizophrenics agree!
668 - Neighbor of the Beast
69 is fine...but 77'll get me 8 more...
9 out of 10 dentists recommend oral sex....
>From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
>From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.
A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
A Smith & Wesson ALWAYS beats four aces.WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY?!!
A bird in the hand can be messy.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A camel is a horse planned by committee.
A can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A closed mind gathers no intelligence
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
A day not wasted is a day wasted!
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
A drawing pin is an excited Smartie
A few cans short of a six pack, Six short.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A fool and his money are soon partying!
A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
A half moon is better than no moon at all.
A harp is a nude piano.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
A library is an arsenal of liberty.
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
A penny saved is ridiculous!
A perversion of nature....how exciting!
A pessimist is never disappointed.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A stage? No, this is not a stage.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
Alex Haley was adopted!
All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
All generalizations are bad.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All hope abandon, ye who press ENTER here
All in all just another brick in the wall.
All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
All stressed out, and no one to choke...
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the easy problems have been solved.
All things are green unless they are not.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
Alone: In bad company.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
Am I really seeking answers?
Amateur Time Lord
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
Anarchy means ignoring things that really piss you off!
And God said: E = +mv} - Ze}/r ...and there *WAS* light!
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
And how can this be? For he IS the Kumquat Haagen
And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
And it's only ones and zeros.
And now for something completely else...
And now for something completely the same...
And now for something ruder...
And the days dwindle down to a precious few...
And then it goes... BOOOOOMMMM!!!
And there he was, reigning supreme at number two.
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
Another fine product from Bastards Inc.
Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
Antidisestablishmentarianism!
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs ther\C
Any wire cut to length will be too short.
Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
