BEST ORKUT TAGLINES PART 18
HERE ARE SOME COOL FUNNY AND LOTS OF DIFFERENT TAGLINES
- Someone keeps moving my chair
- Everyone wants a rock to wind a piece of string around
- I had a nibble of a byte but only got a bit.
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
- This tagline is umop apisdn
- My other computer is a 3090 500J.
- I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
- My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
- If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
- Life begins at 030, fun starts at 040. Death at '86.
- Backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic...
- Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue.
- Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
- If you can't make it good, make it big.
- If it isn't borken, don't fix it.
- Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
- It's only a hobby... only a hobby... only a...
- Resistance Is Useless! (if <1 ohm)
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
- Difference between US humor and UK humour: One letter.
- Warning: Reading taglines can affect your humour.
- His snoring made it no bed of dozes for his wife.
- Listen: A telephone tingling with anticipation.
- DEL *.* | Are you sure Y/N ? | Yes | Oh Sh.............!
- You mean some people buy computers to USE them??
- To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
- Ready-cut wiring is always too short.
- Decimal points are always one place too far to the left.
- Morfy's law; Enythink thit ken go rong willl.
- if everything is going right, something is wrong.
- Sevareid's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions.
- Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
- Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.
- Wolfgang's Third Law: It can't work.
- Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
- An object will fall so as to do the most damage possible.
- Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
- Third Law of Advice: Simple advice is the best advice.
- Wynne`s Law: Negative slack tends to increase.
- Boren`s Law: When in doubt, mumble.
- In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
- Second Law of Hacking: First in, first out.
- Third Law of Hacking: The last blow counts most.
- Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditures rise to meet income.
- Babbage's First Law Of Computers: They won't work.
- Machine code executes and crashes faster.
- Troutman's Fourth Postulate: Interchangeable tapes won't.
- On a clear disk you can seek forever.
- That does not compute.
- eHpl ! Imat arppdei sndi eht eED-C20
- Is a computer language with GOTOs totally Wirth-less?
- Programmers get overlaid.
- GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer errors.
- Instant crash. Just use machine code.
- A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
- An elephant is a mouse built to Mil-Spec.
- Call out the vice squad! Someone's mounting a disk drive!
- You scratch my tape, and I'll scratch yours.
- May all your PUSHes be POPed.
- Is a Jamaican terminal a raster-farian?
- Female programmers get their bits twiddled.
- Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
- Happiness is twin floppies.
- Happiness is a hard disk.
- Happiness is twin floppies and a hard one.
- Small programs are for small minds.
- All programmers want arrays!
- I BM. You BM. We all BM for IBM!
- Don't sweat it - it's only ones and zeros.
- Nobody uses BASIC, because it is so hard to crash.
- BASIC is a high level languish.
- COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
- COBOL programmers are down in the dumps.
- Go Forth & *: Was God a Forth programmer?
- Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
- Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
- Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
- Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
- Old frogs never die, but they do croak!
- Old cars never die, they just trade away.
- Old hackers never die; young ones do.
- Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
- He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
- He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
- He who laughs last is probably your boss.
- Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
- Always draw your curves, then plot the readings.
- Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
- A rolling stone gathers momentum.
- Gravity doesn`t exist: the earth sucks.
- Gravity brings me down.
- If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
- A king's castle is his home.
- A lie in time saves nine.
- A stitch in time saves nine.
- A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
- IBM: "Think!" Rand Corporation: "Think? Hell, COMPUTE!"
- Dignity is one thing that cannot be preserved in alcohol.
- Someone still loves you. (Freddie Mercury.)
- A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
- A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
- Speed Kills (The Doors.)
- For any remedy there is a misery.
- A rumour has it that rumours are just rumours.
- A winner never quits. A quitter never wins.
- An elven cloak is always the height of fashion.
- Don't play Hack at your work. Your boss might hit you!
- Dungeon expects every monster to do his duty.
- Hitting is the lingua franca in these regions.
- Kicking the terminal doesn't hurt the monsters.
- Large dogs make larger turds than little ones.
- Latest news? Put 'net.games.hack' in your .newsrc!
- Learn how to spell. Play Hack!
- Memory flaw - core dumped.
- Monsters come from nowhere to hit you everywhere.
- Nurses prefer undressed hackers.
- Try hacking in the wee hours: you will have more room.
- Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
- Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
- His boredom was as plain as the doze on his face.
- It is not the coldest girl who gets the mink coat.
- By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
- Honeymoon: Coo-existence.
- Two women saying good-bye: Much adieu about nothing.
- By following the good, you learn to be good.
- Nice guys get sick.
- Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
- Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
- Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
- Give a speculator an inch and he'll build a condo.
- Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing.
- Poverty is the root of all evil.
- Archaeologists take sedimental journeys.
- Winter is I-commin back!
- Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
- Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
- Gardeners are prone to sod-den decisions!
- Be alert. America needs more lerts.
- Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
- Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
- In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?
- To iterate is human; to recurse divine.
- Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
- A friend in need is a pest indeed.
- Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.
- Women should be obscene and not heard.
- Children should be obscene and not heard.
- Do unto others before they undo you.
- Don't do it! (P. P. Eckersley.)
- Mrs. Gandhi is in a sari state.
- Raise ducks for quack profit.
- Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
- Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
- Things worth having are worth cheating for.
- Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
- Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
- On all lasergrams: Don't forget the Zap code.
- There's no future in time travel.
- Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
- Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
- Reality does not exist - yet.
- Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
- Xerox never comes up with anything original.
- Draw your salary before spending it.
- Economy makes men independent.
- Income tax: Guaranteed yearly rage.
- Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
- Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
- White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
- Polymer physicists are into chains.
- Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.
- Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
- Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
- Clones are people two.
- Microwaves frizz your heir.
- Laetrile is the pits.
- Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
- Everytime I lose weight, it finds me again.
- An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
- A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.
- Every purchase has its price.
- Eschew Obfuscatory Hyperverbosity! Be brief!
- Are movies about Vulcans Pathe-logical?
- Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
- If you see an onion ring - answer it!
- F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!
- In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
- Rubber bands have snappy endings!
- Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
- If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture.
- Chemists really know their bismuth.
- An expert is someone from out of town.
- Everything bows to success, even grammar.
- History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
- Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
- From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
- It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
- Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
- Teamwork is vital. It gives you someone to blame.
- You are genuinely happy, if you don't know why.
- Schizophrenia beats being alone.
- Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
- Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
- Weekend, where are you?
- Grass is nature's way of saying "High!"
- Acid consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
- LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
- Individualists unite!
- He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
- Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
- Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
- I claim that wasn't necessary. (D. D.)
- Entropy isn't what it used to be.
- It is better to wear out than to rust out.
- He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
- Moebius strippers never show you their back side.
- Klein bottle for rent - inquire within.
- Midas was into golden showers.
- Neutrinos are into physicists.
- He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
- Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
- Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
- Nuke the Whales!
- Drilling for oil is boring.
- Prunes give you a run for your money.
- Eat prune yogurt for that "get up and go" feeling.
- Reagan in '84...... Bush in '85.
- Teachers have class.
- Physicists get hadrons.
- Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
- Depart in pieces... i.e., Split.
- He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
- Everyone is entitled to my opinion. (Garfield.)
- Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
- Lake Erie died for your sins.
- He keeps differentiating... flying off on a tangent.
- COLE's LAW - Thinly sliced cabbage.
- Do married women make the best wives?
- Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
- He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Alex Haley was adopted!
- It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
- Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
- He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
- Battle Creek makes cereal terminals.
- To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
- If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
- Invest in physics - own a piece of Dirac!
- Blame Saint Andreas - it's all his fault.
- Practiss makes perfict.
- Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
- Go climb a gravity well.
- A man's best friend is his dogma.
- A penny saved is ridiculous.
- He who hesitates is constipated.
- He who hesitates is last.
- A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
- Sex is a novel idea to many writers.
- Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
- Breeding rabbits is a hare-raising experience.
- Friction is a drag.
- Van Helsing is heart-breaking.
- Heisenburg may have slept here.
- Biology grows on you.
- He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool.
- It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
- Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
- Nietzsche is pietzsche, Goethe is murder.
- A man's house is his hassle.
- A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
- Neutrinos have bad breadth.
- Jesus Saves - Johnson scores on the rebound.
- Jesus Saves. Vishnu invests.
- He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
- He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck!
- It's clever, but is it art?
- Many a family tree needs trimming.
- One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
- Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
- Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
- I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts.
- Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
- Familiarity breeds.
- A good memory does not equal pale ink.
- Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.
- It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
- How you look depends on where you go.
- Lion tamer wants tamer lion. (Billboard ad.)
- I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
- A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
- And so we plow along, as the fly said to the ox.
- One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
- Some men are discovered; others are found out.
- Words must be weighed, not counted.
- If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
- Lost interest? It's so bad I've lost apathy!
- Every Titanic has its iceberg.
- What's tennis without a racket?
- Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
- Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.
- You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
- I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
- It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
- Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
- Never try to outstubborn a cat. (Icelanders exempt.)
- Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
- It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
- So many ten-dollar hats on so many ten-cent heads.
- The fish that got away is the one you remember.
- If a fish is to get away, you must catch it first.
- If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
- Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
- Running a business is about 95% people and 5% economics.
- When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
- Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
- Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
- Love is sentimental measles.
- Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
- Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
- Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
- Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer,
- then you find there is nothing in it.
- Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
- If a kiss speaks volumes, it is seldom a first edition.
- Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach.
- I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
- Make a wish, it might come true.
- Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
- Bedfellows make strange politicians.
- Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
- Matrimony is the root of all evil.
- Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
- Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
- Money is the root of all wealth.
- Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
- The best things in life are for a fee.
- Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
- Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
- The cost of feathers has risen. Now even down is up!
- Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
- Where there's a will, there's a lawyer.
- Poverty begins at home.
- My cup hath runneth'd over with love.
- Nothing succeeds like successors.
- On a slimming shop: 'Thinner Sanctum.'
- People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
- The best revenge in this world is to forgive. (Italian.)
- I can prove God statistically. (G. Gallup.)
- Preserve the old, but know the new.
- Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
- Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
- Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
- Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
- Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
- Satire is what closes in New Haven.
- She was born in the year of Our-Lord-only-knows-when.
- Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
- Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
- Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
- Swap read error. You lose your core image.
- Swap read error. You lose your mind.
- That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
- The best prophet of the future is the past.
- The only rose without thorns is friendship.
- The plural of spouse is spice.
- The rich get rich, and the poor get poorer.
- The haves get more, the have-nots die.
- The universe is laughing behind your back.
- The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
- There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
- There is always someone worse off than yourself.
- This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
- To give happines is to deserve happiness.
- To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
- True happiness will be found only in true love.
- We read to say that we have read.
- What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
- She likes to be first with the worst.
- When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.
- Words are the voice of the heart.
- Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see.
- A bachelor is a man whom women are still sampling.
- A bee is the debauchee of dews. (Emily Dickinson)
- A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.
- A friend asks only for your time, not your money.
- A horse may be forced to drink but a pencil must be lead.
- A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
- Alimony is your cash surrender value to your spouse.
- All that glitters has a high refractive index.
- Avoid Asymmetry.
- Belief is thought at rest.
- Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
- Beware of quantum ducks: quark, quark.
- Bigamy is carrying respectability to a criminal extreme.
- Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Brevity is the soul of lingerie. (Dorothy Parker)
- Character is built upon the rubble of dreams.
- Common sense is very uncommon.
- Courage is grace under pressure. (Ernest Hemmingway)
- Debt is the certain outcome of an uncertain income.
- Details count.
- Distant water does not put out a fire.
- Don't believe it until you can eat it or spend it.
- Don't bite my finger, look where it's pointing.
- Don't debug standing up. It cuts your patience in half.
- Don't keep doing what doesn't work.
- Don't panic.
- Easy to use is easy to say.
- Electricity travels a foot in a nanosecond.
- Eschew Clever Rules.
- Expect a promotion soon. A promoter will call upon you.
- Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. (Mark Twain)
- For success today, look first to yourself.
- Fortune Cookie says: Don't look back, always look ahead.
- Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgement.
- Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
- Fruit flies like an apricot. Time flies like an arrow.
- Furious Activity is no substitute for understanding.
- God does not play dice with the universe.
- God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
- He was so crooked he could hide behind a corkscrew.
- Help! I'm trapped inside an IBM-PC!
- Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
- Hush! Hush! Secret! I came from a fortune cookie factory.
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
- If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
- If it is not there, it does not exist.
- If it screams, it's not food.
- If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
- If you can't write it down in English, you can't code it.
- If you find yourself in a hole: quit digging.
- If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
- If you plan to throw one away, you will throw away two.
- If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.
- Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
- Integrity is praised, and starves.
- It always takes longer than you expect.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- It is fortune, and not wisdom, that rules a man's life.
- Lonely is a man without love.
- Love is nothing but Sex misspelt.
- Many are cold, but few are frozen.
- Maryland has the best politicians money can buy.
- Mediocrity finds safety in standardization.
- Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
- More haste, less speed.
- New truths begin as heresies and end as superstitions.
- Nice guys finish last. (Leo Durocher)
- No good deed goes unpunished for long.
- No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach.
- Nothing is impossible until it is sent to a committee.
- Nothing worthwhile ever arrives by mail.
- Oh, it's you.
- Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
- People will laugh at you, but let that not prevent you.
- Plan to throw one away, you will anyhow.
- Please all, and you will please none.
- Pride invites calamity, but humility reaps its harvest.
- Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
- Science clears the field upon which technology can build.
- Shouldn't you be doing something useful?
- Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
- The best laid schemes o'mice and men gang aft a-gley.
- The fastest I/O is no I/O.
- The first rule of program optimization - Don't do it.
- The fish that escaped is the big one.
- The greatest enemy of the neck is the tongue.
- The ideal wife is the woman who has an ideal husband.
- The next dreadful thing to a battle lost is a battle won.
- The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
- There is many a good man to be found under a shabby hat.
- There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
- There's at least one fool in every married couple.
- Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
- This is tomorrow's message.
- This is yesterday's message.
- This sentence no verb.
- Those who are prospering do not argue about taxes.
- Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
- Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
- To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
- Traveler, there is no path. Paths are made by walking.
- What a stupid password!
- When in doubt, use brute force.
- When you get there, there's no there there.
- Wisdom and good sense guard life from harm.
- Wisdom is knowing thyself--and not telling anyone.
- With a mind like yours, who needs a body?
- Without fools there would be no wisdom.
- Without health you cannot enjoy wealth or happiness.
- You are just in time to be too late.
- You can't get there from here.
- You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
- You don't have mail.
- You may already have won a million dollars.
- You might have mail, I can't recall.
- You might have mail.
- You will have many friends when you use corkscrew.
- Your chair is the headquarters of your hindquarters.
- Youth and skill are never a match for age and cunning.
- Debug only the code.
- When things are going well, something will go wrong.
- When things just can't get any worse, they will.
- I don't know, ask Jim Harrer at Mustang Software.
- I don't know, ask Cathy.
- Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
- Don't ask me; I only work here.
- That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all!
- Bruised is better'n excused. (Granville King.)
- Do you remember when Coke was sipped, not sniffed?
- Certainly resistor manufacturers do Ohm-work?
- Does chemistry matter?
- Programming beats getting drunk or stoned.
- This is serious. We're running out of deputies.
- This system is user-friendly, but rude to everyone else.
- Of all stereo systems, yours should be better.
- Where the tanks pass over, the grass suffers.
- Never shed a drop of blood for God's glory. (G. Buddha.)
- Neil Armstrong tripped.
- Astronauts get missile-toe.
- Take an astronaut to launch.
- Astronauts are out to launch.
- There is no such thing as a "Fail Safe" design.
- If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
- Sorry. No quotation today!!
- Kun Fu Tze say too damn much!
- Ancient Chinese Curse: May you live in interesting times.
- Ancient Chinese Curse: May all your wishes be granted.
- Ahhhhhhhh, I forget what I was going to say.
- Chaste makes waste.
- Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
- Do it today. Tomorrow it will be illegal.
- It's better to copulate than never!
- Satyrs have more faun.
- Fauns are never Satyr-sfied!
- The devil finds work for idle glands.
- Two is company, three is an orgy.
- Vice Versa - poems about brothels?
- Lawyers do it in their briefs.
- Engineers do it precisely.
- Technicians do it a lot.
- Computer Engineers do it bit by bit.
- Hackers do it with bugs.
- Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stray.
- Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist!
- Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Idleness is the holiday of fools.
- Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
- Man and wife make one fool.
- Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
- The heart is wiser than the intellect.
- To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
- People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
- What fools these morals be!
- You ain't learning nothing when you're talking.
- Open it and you remove all doubt.
- You can fool some of the people all of the time,
- and all of the people some of the time,
- but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.
- Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to.
- Smile! Things can only get worse.
- A chain is only as good as its weakest link.
- A child miseducated is a child lost. (John F. Kennedy)
- A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.
- A clean limerick is a contradiction in terms.
- A column about errors will contain errors. (Bill Gold)
- A bird in the hand might.
- A bottle of sweat for every bottle of wine.
- A bird in the hand is inconvenient.
- A bird in the hand is safer then one overhead.
- A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.
- A disagreeable task is its own reward.
- A fat paunch never breeds fine thoughts. (St. Jerome)
- A friend in power is a friend lost.
- A friend is another self (Latin proverb)
- A friend married is a friend lost. (Henrik Ibsen)
- A friend to everyone is a friend to nobody
- A God alone can comprehend a God.
- A company is known by the people that it keeps.
- A deaf ear is the first sign of a closed mind.
- A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
- A fast is better than a bad meal. (Irish Proverb)
- A fool must be right now and again by chance. (Cowper)
- A foot is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- A good lawyer makes an evil neighbor.
- A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years.
- A friend married is a friend lost.
- A friend is another self. (Latin Proverb)
- A friend to everyone is a friend to nobody.
- A great fortune is a great slavery. (Seneca)
- A hard man is good to find. (Mae West)
- A heart unspotted is not easily daunted. (Shakespeare)
- A heavy purse makes a light heart. (Irish proverb)
- A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence.
- A joint a day keeps reality away.
- A KEEN ANALYST: thoroughly confused.
- A light heart lives long. (Shakespeare)
- A little ambiguity never hurt anyone. (Charles Suhor)
- A little ignorance can go a long way. (Solomon Short)
- A little learning is a dangerous thing! (Alexander Pope)
- A man can have more money than brains - but not for long.
- A man is as big as the things that annoy him.
- A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
- A man would have to be drunk to drive while drunk.
- A man's legs must be long enough to reach the ground.
- A motion to adjurn is always in order. (Lazarus Long)
- A penny saved is a penny to squander.
- A picture is a poem without words. (Horace)
- A rich man's joke is always funny. (Thomas Brown)
- Do fairies get pregnant by sitting on a toadstool?
- Is an innuendo an Italian suppository?
- Definition of a prostitute - receiver of swollen goods.
- Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
- Bad spelers of the wurld unit.
- Real Ale - reaches the parts Heineken daren't mention.
- This computer will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
- Help! I'm a prisoner inside this machine.
- Save trees, eat more beavers.
- Keep Britain tidy, shoot a tourist.
- Einstein rules relatively OK - in theory anyway.
- Sudden prayers make God jump.
- (Oops!)
- Shrdiger rules the waves!
- Dead people are cool.
- Do ghost trains stop at manife-stations?
- Be alert - your country needs lerts.
- I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
- Absolute zero is cool.
- Kelvin rules 0k.
- Down with gravity.
- Slide rules OK.
- Sausage rolls OK.
- God is not dead - he just couldn't find a parking place.
- Rooner Spules OK.
- Fred Abracadabra. Now there's a name to conjour with.
- Repeal the banana.
- Samantha Fox is a hazard to shipping.
- Jesus Saves - and Dalglish scores from the next attack!
- I drink therefore I am. I'm drunk therefore I was.
- I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
- Saliva drools OK.
- Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
- 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
- Free the Heinz 57.
- Make love not war - see sysop for details.
- Everything was different before it changed.
- Graffiti is the revenge of the inarticulate proletariate.
- Arsonists of the world, ignite!
- Watch this space.
- Carpenters do it with their tools.
- Speak Esperanto like a native.
- Marijuana is nature's way of saying "high".
- Study art and logic - learn to draw your own conclusions.
- Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination
- Musicians do it with an instrument.
- Reality is caused by lack of alcohol.
- Dyslexics of the world untie!
- Help preserve wildlife. Pickle a Traffic Warden today!
- A man is as old as he feels.
- Say it with flowers - give her a triffid.
- Jargon rules - ongoing dominance situation.
- Actively eschew verbose obfuscation!
- The cost of living is killing me.
- Stamp out philately!
- The M25 is not all it's cracked up to be.
- Consideration rules...... is that O.K.?
- Support British steel - smelt the Iron Lady.
- Crime isn't black and white. It's various shades of Kray.
- I'm immortal - so far.
- We are the people our parents warned us about.
- The more I see men, the more I love my dog.
- Illiterate? Write to the SysOp for help.
- Get stoned - Drink liquid cement.
- Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
- Reincarnation is making a comeback!
- Not enough is being done for the apathetic.
- Incest is only relatively *******. (Censored)
- Hackers of the world, interface!
- Z80 programmers do it 8 bits at a time.
- BASIC programmers PEEK and POKE.
- Molecular physicists are in on chains.
- This may be the purpose of the universe.
- We have had chaos and misunderstanding thrust upon us!
- Firemen come quicker.
- GRAVITY SUCKS!
- Make someone happy, ring Buzby's neck.
- Edam is made backwards.
- Women like the simple things in life: Men.
- Is Lenin's tomb a communist plot?
- Australian foreplay: "Brace yerself Sheila."
- Smoking - think of it as evolution in action.
- Kentucky Freud Chicken, it's motherbreedin' good!
- The meek shall inherit the earth - in 6' x 2' plots.
- DBOS: Dyslexyic Basic Operating System.
- I am still an athiest, thank God.
- Anyone who can see through a woman is missing a lot.
- Anarchists of the world unite!
- Always tell her she's pretty, especially when she isn't.
- How do the Japanese do it? Because we let them.
- To be or not to be!
- That's what I damn well can't decide.
- Assassination is an extreme form of censorship.
- Virginity is like a balloon. {The rest was censored}
- Never try to outstubborn a cat.
- Beware, scientists CAN reproduce IBM 8088's using ancient DNA...
- Murphy's Law - What cann gu worng wil goe wrung.
- Don't drink water, fish breed in it.
- Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
- Neither should they nail up pictures.
- I'm pink therefore I'm spam.
- Silence those who oppose freedom of speech!
- Elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.
- Experience: the name given by men to their mistakes.
- Advertising is legalized lying. (H. G. Wells)
- The last Christian died on the cross. (Anonymous)
- Communism is like one big phone company. (Lenny Bruce)
- Every law is an infraction of liberty. (Jeremy Bentham)
- Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. (Charles Lamb)
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. (Oscar Wilde)
- Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. (Woody Allen)
- Init string? No, looks like old rope.....
- Twenty four beers in a crate,twenty four hours in a day...Hmmm
- It's Captain Flintstone...He's Fred Jim
- Don't ask me, I only work here.
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